Monday, 21 December 2009

About Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. He now has a hole in one.
What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball much further.
Tiger's wife has improved his game. She has made him a truly scratch golfer.
How can Tiger Woods be the world's best golfer? He couldn't even miss a water hazard that was right in front of him.
What were Tiger & his wife doing out at 2.50am? They were out clubbing.
I'm not surprised that Tiger is a bit below par at the moment, he was trying too hard for a birdie.
I find it difficult driving at that time in the morning. You can't see the Woods for the trees.
Tiger's been dropped by Gillette after saying that his accident was the closest shave that he has had.

What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball?

Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball 300 yards.

Why did Tiger Woods hit a fire hydrant and a tree?

He couldn’t decide between an iron or a wood.

Tiger Woods wife is the only person who can beat him with a golf club!

What club did Elin use to 'rescue' her husband?

A bitching wedge.

The Chinese are already making a movie about Tiger Woods' crash.

Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family--his new name? Cheetah

What do Tiger Woods and baby seals have in common?

They're both clubbed by Norwegians!

Tiger crashed his car because he was in a rush to move on to the second hole.

My mum's and dad's live

My mum's life forty years ago:
she was nine and lived in a boarding school until she was eighteen. Then she went to work and met my dad when she was twenty-two.
Now I'm going to talk about my dad's life thirty-six years ago. He used to work in a ship.They travelled around the world. He went to Brazil, Irak, Iran, Italy, Saudi Arabia and Pakistan. Then he went to England and worked there.Then when he met my mum they got married.
Now they have three boys - no girls- one of them still lives in England and has a daughter, the other one lives with us in Spain. He's going to be a lawyer. I'm the youngest and I'm an uncle.